Intimacy is a key factor that contributes to the quality, stability, and happiness of your marriage. It’s not just about physical closeness, but also about emotional, mental, and spiritual closeness. Intimacy can enhance your sexuality, communication, trust, and mutual support in your relationship. But how do you cultivate intimacy in your marriage? What are the habits of highly intimate couples that you can learn from?
In this article, we will explore some of the habits of happy couples who have great sex, who are deeply connected, and who are highly effective in their relationship. We will also give you some tips on how to practice these habits in your daily life and enjoy the benefits of intimacy in your marriage.
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What is intimacy and why is it important for your marriage?
Intimacy is a sense of closeness, emotional connection, and vulnerability between partners. It is not only about physical or sexual contact, but also about emotional, intellectual, and spiritual connection. Intimacy is the foundation of any relationship and it requires commitment, honesty, trust, communication, and personal growth. Intimacy can be affected by various issues in the marriage, such as lack of acceptance, vulnerability, or fidelity.
Intimacy is important for your marriage because it can enhance your relationship satisfaction, well-being, and health. Intimacy can make you feel more loved, supported, and understood by your partner. It can also improve your sexual satisfaction, communication, trust, and mutual support in your relationship. Intimacy can also reduce stress, anxiety, depression, and loneliness. Intimacy can also boost your immune system, lower your blood pressure, and increase your lifespan
Habits of Highly Intimate Couples
Habits of highly intimate couples are the behaviors and practices that help them create and maintain a close, personal connection with each other. This connection can be physical, emotional, or both, and it involves a sense of knowing, loving, and trusting each other deeply. Some of the habits of highly intimate couples are:
- They communicate openly and honestly: They share their thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires with each other, and listen to each other with empathy and curiosity. They also avoid secrets, lies, or hidden agendas that might damage their trust and intimacy.
- Supportive and affectionate: They show their love and care for each other in words and actions. They encourage each other to pursue their goals and dreams, help each other overcome challenges, and celebrate each other’s achievements. They also express their attraction and desire for each other in physical ways, such as holding hands, hugging, kissing, or cuddling.
- Resolve conflict in a healthy way: They don’t avoid or escalate conflicts but rather address them constructively. They use “I” statements instead of “you” statements, focus on the problem not the person, and seek win-win solutions. They also apologize and forgive when they make mistakes, and let go of grudges or resentment.
- Spend quality time together: They make time for each other regularly and do things that they both enjoy or want to try. They also keep their relationship interesting and exciting by trying new activities, hobbies, or adventures together. They also pay attention to each other during their time together and avoid distractions like phones, TV, or work.
- Willing to compromise: They respect each other’s needs and preferences and try to accommodate them whenever possible. They also ask each other what they need or want from the relationship, and do their best to fulfill them. If they have different needs or preferences, they try to find a middle ground that works for both of them.
- Committed to their relationship: They value their relationship as a priority in their lives and work to maintain it. They also stay faithful, loyal, and reliable to each other, and avoid anything that might jeopardize their relationship. They also reassure each other of their commitment and avoid being jealous, controlling, or suspicious.
- Make each other laugh: They have fun and be playful with each other, and laugh together often. They tease each other lightly or playfully flirt with each other. They also do something silly or adventurous with each other, such as playing a game, watching a comedy, or trying a new activity.
- Grateful for each other: They appreciate and acknowledge the positive things their partner does or says, and give them sincere praise and feedback. They also say thank you often and express their gratitude for having each other in their lives. They also notice and celebrate the small things that make their relationship special.
Habits of couples who are deeply connected
Couples who are deeply connected have a strong sense of closeness, trust, and understanding with each other. They share their inner worlds, support each other’s goals and dreams, and have fun together. They also communicate well, resolve conflicts constructively, and show appreciation and affection. Here are some habits of couples who are deeply connected:
- They communicate openly and frequently, by sharing their thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires with their partner, and listening to theirs with empathy and curiosity.
- They are honest and vulnerable, by revealing their true self to their partner, including their fears, hopes, dreams, and insecurities, and trusting them to accept and support them.
- They spend quality time together, by doing things that they both enjoy or trying new activities that can spark their curiosity and excitement.
- They support each other’s goals and dreams, by encouraging their partner to pursue their passions, helping them overcome obstacles, and celebrating their achievements.
- They have fun and be playful, by laughing together, teasing each other, or doing something silly or adventurous.
- They express appreciation and gratitude, by noticing and acknowledging the positive things their partner does or says, giving compliments, and saying thank you.
- They give their full attention and eye contact, by avoiding distractions like phones, TV, or work, and focusing on each other’s presence and conversation.
- They touch base in small ways during the day, by sending texts, calling, hugging, holding hands, or giving a peck on the cheek.
- They are romantic and affectionate, by surprising their partner with flowers, gifts, or notes, planning a date night, or cuddling and kissing.
- They ask meaningful questions, by using prompts like the 36 questions to fall in love or creating your own questions that can help you learn more about each other.
- They resolve conflicts constructively, by avoiding blame or criticism, using “I” statements instead of “you” statements, and seeking win-win solutions.
- They apologize and forgive, by taking responsibility for their mistakes, expressing remorse and making amends, and letting go of grudges or resentment.
- They embrace each other’s families and social circles, by making a genuine effort to get to know them and develop strong connections
Habits of couples who are Highly Effective
Couples who are highly effective have a strong sense of partnership, cooperation, and mutual respect. They work together to achieve their goals, overcome challenges, and grow as individuals and as a couple. They also communicate well, support each other, and have fun together.
Here are some habits of couples who are highly effective:
- They are transparent with one another, by being honest, open, and authentic with their partner, and avoiding secrets, lies, or hidden agendas.
- They make compromises, not sacrifices, by finding ways to meet each other’s needs and preferences without giving up their own values or happiness.
- They have frank discussions about finances, by being clear about their income, expenses, debts, and savings, and agreeing on a budget and a financial plan that works for both of them.
- They show a little PDA, by expressing their affection and attraction in public, such as holding hands, hugging, or kissing, and making their partner feel special and desired.
- They are upfront about their expectations, by communicating their wants and needs in the relationship, and listening to their partner’s wants and needs as well.
- They go on dates, by spending quality time together doing something fun, romantic, or adventurous, and keeping the spark alive in their relationship.
- They pay compliments, by noticing and appreciating the positive qualities and actions of their partner and giving them sincere praise and feedback.
- They communicate openly and frequently, by sharing their thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires with their partner, and listening to theirs with empathy and curiosity.
- They influence each other positively, by respecting each other’s views and opinions, learning from each other’s strengths and experiences, and inspiring each other to grow and improve.
- They don’t take conflicts to heart, by avoiding blame or criticism, using “I” statements instead of “you” statements, and seeking win-win solutions.
- They keep in touch during the day, by sending texts, calling, emailing, or video chatting with their partner to check in on them, share updates, or express love.
- They care deeply about each other’s well-being, by being supportive, encouraging, and helpful to their partner when they face difficulties or challenges in life.
- They catch fun together, by laughing together, teasing each other lightly, or playfully flirting with each other.
- They trust each other completely, by being faithful, loyal, and reliable to their partner, and avoiding anything that might jeopardize their relationship.
- They value each other as individuals, by respecting each other’s autonomy, boundaries, and interests, and allowing each other to have their own space, time, and friends
How to practice these habits in your daily life
To practice these habits in your daily life, you can try some of the following tips:
- Set aside some time every day to talk to your partner, and make sure you are fully present and attentive. You can use this time to share your feelings, thoughts, plans, or concerns, or to ask your partner about theirs. You can also use this time to express your appreciation, gratitude, or love for your partner.
- Schedule regular date nights with your partner, and plan something that you both enjoy or want to try. You can also surprise your partner with a spontaneous date or a romantic gesture, such as flowers, gifts, or notes. Make sure you focus on your partner during the date and avoid distractions like phones, TV, or work.
- Be mindful of your partner’s needs and preferences, and try to accommodate them whenever possible. You can also ask your partner what they need or want from you, and do your best to fulfill them. If you have different needs or preferences, try to find a middle ground that works for both of you.
- Show your partner affection and attraction in public and in private. You can hold hands, hug, kiss, cuddle, or touch your partner in ways that make them feel loved and desired. You can also compliment your partner on their appearance, personality, or skills, and make them feel good about themselves.
- Be honest and vulnerable with your partner, and share your true self with them. You can reveal your fears, hopes, dreams, and insecurities, and trust them to accept and support you. You can also listen to your partner’s fears, hopes, dreams, and insecurities, and offer them acceptance and support.
- Learn from your partner’s views and opinions, and respect their differences. You can ask your partner why they believe what they believe, and try to understand their perspective. You can also share your views and opinions with your partner, and explain why you believe what you believe. You can also agree to disagree on some issues, without judging or criticizing each other.
- Have fun and be playful with your partner, and laugh together often. You can tease each other lightly or playfully flirt with each other. You can also do something silly or adventurous with your partner, such as playing a game, watching a comedy, or trying a new activity.
- Keep in touch with your partner during the day, and let them know you are thinking of them. You can send texts, calls, emails, or video chats with your partner to check in on them, share updates, or express love. You can also send them a funny meme, a cute picture, or a sweet message to brighten their day.
- Support your partner’s goals and dreams, and encourage them to pursue their passions. You can help them overcome obstacles, and celebrate their achievements. You can also share your goals and dreams with your partner, and ask for their support and encouragement.
- Resolve conflicts constructively, and avoid taking conflicts to heart. You can use “I” statements instead of “you” statements, and focus on the problem, not the person. You can also listen to your partner’s point of view, and seek win-win solutions. You can also apologize and forgive, and let go of grudges or resentment.
- Trust your partner completely, and avoid anything that might jeopardize your relationship. You can be faithful, loyal, and reliable to your partner, and avoid lying, cheating, or hiding things from them. You can also reassure your partner of your trust, and avoid being jealous, controlling, or suspicious.
- Value your partner as an individual, and respect their autonomy, boundaries, and interests. You can allow your partner to have their own space, time, and friends, and avoid being clingy, needy, or possessive. You can also support your partner’s hobbies, activities, or passions, and avoid being critical, dismissive, or interfering.
Being in a highly effective relationship requires effort, commitment, and mutual respect. By practicing the habits of couples who are highly effective, you can improve your communication, cooperation, and connection with your partner. You can also enhance your happiness, satisfaction, and well-being as a couple. Try to incorporate these habits into your daily life, and see the positive difference they can make in your relationship.
Here are some books on intimacy in relationships that you might find helpful:
- Radical Intimacy: Cultivate the Deeply Connected Relationships You Really Want by Terry Real
- Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships by David Schnarch
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert by John Gottman and Nan Silver
For even more ways to deepen your intimacy and connection with your partner, discover the 7 tips to be a better lover in our related article.
Frequently Asked Questions
How to be more intimate with your partner?
Intimacy is a multifaceted concept that can have different meanings for different people. Generally, it involves a close, personal bond between two people. This bond can be physical, emotional, or both.
There are many ways to increase intimacy with your partner. Here are some suggestions:
- Share openly and truthfully. Express your thoughts, feelings, and wishes. Be ready to listen to your partner and understand their thoughts and feelings too.
- Make time for each other. This doesn't have to mean spending a lot of time together. Even brief moments of time, such as snuggling on the sofa or going for a stroll together, can help to enhance intimacy.
- Show physical affection. Touch is a powerful way to convey intimacy. Hold hands, hug, kiss, and snuggle often.
- Open up to each other. This means being willing to reveal your deepest thoughts and feelings, even if you're scared of being rejected. When you open up to your partner, you're showing them that you trust them and that you love them deeply.
- Support and encourage each other. Be there for your partner when they need you. Offer them your help and support, and let them know that you have faith in them.
- Forgive each other. Everyone makes mistakes. When your partner does something to upset you, be willing to forgive them. Holding on to resentment will only harm your relationship.
- Celebrate your achievements together. When you accomplish something, share your joy with your partner. This will help you to feel closer and more connected.
Signs of a healthy intimate relationship
Here are some signs of a healthy intimate relationship:
- Trust: You feel safe and secure with your partner. You know that they can be trusted with your secrets and that they will not hurt you physically or emotionally.
- Respect: You and your partner treat each other with respect, even when you disagree. You value each other's opinions and feelings.
- Communication: You can communicate openly and honestly with your partner about anything. You feel comfortable sharing your thoughts, feelings and needs with them.
- Affection: You show your partner affection in both physical and emotional ways. You hug, kiss, hold hands, and tell each other how much you love and care for each other.
- Shared values: You and your partner share similar values and goals. You are on the same page about what is important to you in life.
- Support: You are there for your partner when they need you. You offer them your love, support, and understanding.
- Forgiveness: You are willing to forgive your partner when they make mistakes. You understand that everyone makes mistakes and that holding on to resentment will only damage the relationship.
- Commitment: You are committed to your partner and to the relationship. You are willing to work through challenges and make the relationship a priority.